MAKING DECISIONS

Activity: This or That?

This activity is to help the students realise that we make so many choices every day, knowingly or unknowingly. The students will have to choose quickly between the two options given to them. They need to stand up if they choose the first option and sit down if they go for the second one. Continue this process till the end of the list. (Remind them that they cannot stay neutral. They cannot say none of the options or both the options!). Sample Questions:

• Tea or Coffee?

• Cat or dog?

• Text or call?

• Computer or Mobile?

• Summer or winter?

• Getting up early or staying up late?

• Fruits or veggies?

• Non-stop hiccups or non-stop sneezes?

• Read it or watch it?

• Always forget who you are or always forget who everyone else is?

• Learn new language or new musical instrument?

• Sing in public or dance in public?

Debrief: Our life is the sum total of the decisions we make. We make so many choices each day like, what food to eat? What dress to wear? When to wake up? Etc. In this activity, how did you choose? (let the students answer) Maybe you did what everybody else did or what your friend did.

This activity was about trivial matters. But think about the big decisions of life. How do we make a right choice? That’s what today’s lesson is all about.

Illustrations: Making wrong decisions?

While the classes were going on, Josh was lost in his thoughts. His friend John had invited him for a party. He knew all his friends were coming and that there would be a lot of drinking. Josh knew it was wrong to drink and was confused about going for the party. He was afraid if he said no, his friendship with John would break. At the same time, he knew that his father will get very upset with him if he went for the party. But eventually after thinking about it, Josh came up with a solution. He decided to go for the party without his father’s knowledge, and return home before his father got back from work. But things didn't go as planned. Josh gets very late in the party and also his friends forced him to drink and he lands up home very late in a not so sane condition. When Josh’s father finds out that Josh is drunk, he gets very upset and things didn't go so well for him as you can guess.

Debrief:

1. Did Josh make a wise choice? Why / Why not?

2. What excuse could have Josh given to decline the invitation for the party?

Lesson Point 1: The Influencers

• Human beings are keen observers. We constantly learn from what happens around us. These observations in turn influence our choices - both the small ones and the big ones. Some of our influencers are people we see every day - parents, friends, teachers, relatives etc. We are also influenced greatly by what we see on screen - movies, advertisements, sports, cartoons, the internet etc.

• Personality plays an important role in decision making. Our basic nature and life experiences are key factors. Introverts and extroverts make decisions differently. Some make quick decisions while others are slow in deciding. Some involve others in their decisions while some like to decide on their own. Think for a moment about how you make your decisions.

• Our value system and worldview also influence our decisions. How we look at money, relationships, success, competition and time will determine how we choose. It is important to have the right perspective at an early age so that we make the right choices in life.

• Many of our choices are actually made by others. We choose what everyone else chooses - the herd mentality. Their choice becomes ours. The way we dress, eat, talk, look and behave is often influenced by what is popular in our current culture. The real reason behind these choices is a need for acceptance from others and the fear of being left out among our friends.

• Ultimately our choices need to be influenced by God. He is deeply interested in our decisions. God has an amazing plan for each of our lives. God desires that we make the right choices and will guide each of our steps towards that plan. God is the only one who knows our past, present and our future too.

· One rule to keep in mind before a decision is, never take important decisions under the influence of anything – drugs, alcohol, peer pressure, emotions. Always be ready to think enough about your decision before taking action.

· Be careful of all the conflicting voices that try to influence us - the people who are close to us, our heroes on screen, our personality, our experiences, our belief systems and culture. Above all, may we be influenced by our Creator.

Activity: Interesting decisions

Is decision making easy or difficult?

Show pictures of a BURGER and an ICECREAM

· Ask the students which one they would choose. The tempting burger or the chocolatey ice cream.

· Ask them if the choice was easy or difficult

· Ask the students which of the decisions below are easy to make and which are not

- Burger or ice-cream?

- Should I pursue a career in arts or a career in mathematics?

- Should I steal my friend’s money or should I not?

Is decision making important?

· Ask the students if they think taking the right decision is important. (Encourage the students to speak out and reason). Let them choose between:

- Not that important

- Sometimes important

- Important all the time

· Ask the students which of the decisions, from the earlier example, are important to make and which are not

- Burger or ice-cream?

- Should I pursue a career in arts or a career in mathematics?

- Should I steal my friend’s money or should I not?

Lesson Point 2: Decisions have consequences

We can classify our decisions into three categories:

○ Trivial decisions: These form the majority of our daily choices. We make them all the time. From the time we get up till we go to sleep, we have to constantly choose. Here are some examples:

§ Which dress am I going to wear today?

§ How should I comb my hair today?

§ How many rotis should I have for dinner?

○ Prudent decisions: These are decision which need to be taken carefully because they can impact our academics, our career, our resources, our future plans etc. Here are some examples:

§ Should I choose commerce or science or humanities after class 10?

§ Which bike should I buy?

§ How much time should I spend online?

§ How can I take care of my health?

§ Should I take tuitions or study by myself?

○ Moral decisions: These decisions are the most important decisions we take. They are to do with our character and our sense of right and wrong. It shows who we really are on the inside. Here are some examples:

§ Should I spread hateful news/gossip about someone on social media?

§ Should I copy for the exam since I didn’t study well?

§ How much time should I spent with parents?

§ Who will I choose as my friend?

§ Should I use that cuss word?

· Our trivial decisions may not have big consequences, but the prudent and moral decisions need to be taken carefully. Some consequences are temporary while others last a lifetime. If we take the right decisions, the rewards are great but if we fail, we will have regrets.

Lesson Point 3: Make Choices Wisely

Like Newton’s third law, every important decision has a consequence. We saw the influencers and the consequences. The question remains, how do I choose wisely? Here are some practical suggestions:

· Keep God in the picture. God is keenly interested in our decisions and knows our future. God knows the consequences of our decisions too. It would be wise on our part to make decisions that pleases God. Before we choose, we must ask this - “Does this honour God?”, “Will God be pleased with what I choose?”

· One of the ways to make a wise decision is a technique called ICED. Each letter stands for a step in the process of decision making.

o Identify the situation/problem: Think about the decision to be made and see if it is a trivial, prudent or moral decision.

o Create alternatives: List out all the possible options that you have with you.

o Evaluate each alternative: This is the most crucial step in the process.

o Go through all the options that you listed and think about the possible benefits and consequences.

o If the matter is serious, you should take the help of your parents or someone mature enough to help you decide. Your friends may be confused as you are and might not be of much help.

o Decide on the best alternative: After eliminating all the options you are ready to select the alternative which seems to be best suited to you. You may even choose a combination of alternatives too.

· Stay firm/work on the decision: Taking a wise decision is good but we need to consciously put in efforts to see that the decision becomes a reality. Once a decision has been made, work hard to see it come true. Do not go back and continue in the same way as when you were undecided.

· Take feedback: Sometimes, even our best efforts have results we didn't think could happen. This is why it is good to go back over our choices and make sure we made a good decision. It is part of the learning process. Even if everything went well, revisiting our choices allows us to learn why this was a good decision so we can apply the principles and ideas to our other decisions. Talk to someone senior and get their views and feedback, it helps!

Life Scenarios - Consider the following situations and make a decision using the ICED method.

o Scenario#1: Mithun is a good student in 10th Standard. He is good in speaking and writing and was the class topper in English. He managed to get an average score in Science and Maths. He has a passion for journalism and so his parents suggested that he take the commerce stream so that he gets time for extracurricular activities. But all his friends are taking the science stream and Mithun doesn’t want to miss them. He wants to follow his passion but he feels he will be lonely. What should he do?

Possible solution: Mithun has to take a prudent decision (I). He has two options - to join the science group with his friends or the commerce group and follow his passion and future dreams (C). While relationships are important, Mithun should now start thinking about his future. He can be in touch with his old friends but he can now make new ones too. In the process of doing commerce, he can find time to read up and write things related to his dream career. If he has a desire in his heart to become a journalist, Mithun should work hard towards that goal and see it fulfilled (E). So Mithun should take up the commerce stream and follow his passion and make new friends (D).

o Scenario#2: Sneha has been feeling depressed lately. Nothing seems to be going right in her life. She has lost her dad recently and she is always fighting with her mom. She does not like the way she looks, nor does she have any close friends to talk to. Her grades at school have been slipping of late and teachers are all shouting at her. Sneha is starting to think that killing herself might be the answer. What are Sneha’s options and what should she do?

Possible solution: The decision Sneha needs to take is not just an ethical/moral decision but a life and death one (I). The alternatives before her are - look at her present conditions and conclude that life is not worth living or trust in God and believe that suicide is not the solution and that this phase will pass away soon. (C). Sneha’s present life may seem so dismal and pointless but she doesn't know her future. It could be bright and beautiful. Her relationships can always improve and so can her studies. God definitely has something beautiful in store for her than an untimely death(E). Sneha should immediately seek help from someone mature and make all efforts to choose to live. Ending life is not a solution for anything in life (D).

o Scenario#3: Akash and Naresh were close friends. But after they had a fight during a football match, they have not talked to each other. Akash finally decided to bridge the gap and restore the lost relationship. But Naresh feels that Akash will betray his trust again and so refuses his offer of friendship. What should Akash do?

Possible solution: Akash has to take an ethical decision (I). The options he has in front of him are - to walk out of the relationship and pretend nothing has happened or continue his attempts to restore the friendship (C). If Akash chooses to walk away from Naresh, he will definitely get new friends and can move on in life, leaving the past behind. Restoring a broken relationship is difficult and it takes time, persistence, and humility. Even if Akash tries to bridge the gap, Naresh may ignore all his efforts, causing frustration and flare-ups. If these two friends can bury their past, their friendship can soar new heights, after all they were best buddies. So, despite the difficulty of the process, the end reward is great (E). Akash must not give up on Naresh. He must try his best to win back his trust and restore their broken relationship, even if it means that he has to wait for a long time (D).

Additional Content – Making Career Choices

(Teachers this is an optional content that can be used for students wanting to know how to make decisions related to choosing a career)

7 steps to decision making - Choosing your Career

1. Define your problem/ identify the decision to be made. You realize that a decision must be made. You then go through an internal process of trying to define clearly the nature of the decision you must make or problem you must deal with.

Eg: Which course do I choose after the 12th grade exams

2. Gather information and resources. Most decisions require collecting appropriate information. The real trick in this step is to know what information is needed, the best sources of this information, and how to go about getting it. Some information must be sought from within yourself through a process of self-assessment; other information must be sought from outside yourself - books, people, and a variety of other sources. This step, therefore, involves both internal and external “work”.

Eg:

• Your talents/abilities/interests (Take career guidance tests/ guidance courses)

• The various courses that suit you interest

• What skillset each course requires

• Scope for finding a job after the course

• The colleges that offer the course that you are interested in etc.

3. List options/ identify the alternatives. Through the process of collecting information you will probably identify several possible paths of action, or alternatives. You may also use your imagination and information to construct new alternatives. In this step of the decision-making process, you will list all possible and desirable alternatives.

Eg: Architect, Psychologist, Pilot, journalist etc.

4. Weigh, compare options/ weigh the evidence. In this step, you draw on your information and emotions to imagine what it would be like if you carried out each of the alternatives to the end. You must evaluate whether the need identified in Step 1 would be helped or solved through the use of each alternative. In going through this difficult internal process, you begin to favor certain alternatives which appear to have higher potential for reaching your goal. Eventually you are able to place the alternatives in priority order, based upon your own value system.

Eg:

• Will I get a stable job after I complete my course?

• Will I really enjoy the course or is it for my parents I’m taking the course?

• What duration would each course take?

5. Make a decision/ Choose from alternatives. Once you have weighed all the evidence, you are ready to select the alternative which seems to be best suited to you. You may even choose a combination of alternatives.

Eg : ARCHITECTURE!

6. Make a plan of action/ Take action. You now take some positive action which begins to implement the alternative you chose in Step 5.

Eg: Apply to all the college that offers ARCHITETURE as a course subject

7. Evaluate/ Review the decision. In the last step you experience the results of your decision and evaluate whether or not it has “solved” the need you identified in Step 1. If it has, you may stay with this decision for some period of time. If the decision has not resolved the identified need, you may repeat certain steps of the process in order to make a new decision. You may, for example, gather more detailed or somewhat different information or discover additional alternatives on which to base your decision.

Eg: Am I really happy with the course I selected? If you are not, then repeat the above steps. YOU ARE NEVER TOO LATE… (Make sure you take advice from elders who can help you)