CONTENTMENT

Lesson point 1: Give me more!

In 2016, an Indian company called OLX, which deals with used goods, did a survey among its customers. They found out that Indian houses had unused goods worth over 80,000 crores! These include electronic gadgets, kitchen utensils and furniture. It is an indicator of the accumulation culture that most Indians have. We want more and more and more!

· The world tells us, “To be happy, you’ve got to have more!” Even the ads that we watch on television and the ones put up on stores convey the same idea, that you can’t be happy without more and that if you want to enjoy life you need this or that.

· Sometimes we tend to think “I’ll be happy when I’m in high school. I can boss around and do things as I like” and when you are finally in high school you say “I’ll be happy when I'm finally done with so much of studying and out of school”. Then, when you have passed out of school finally, you will be saying, “I’ll be happy when I get out of college”. You are out of college but you’re back home and you just know you’ll be happy when you finally get married...it goes on…For some people, the grass is always greener on the other side. This is a contentment problem.

· Our society lives in a constant state of discontentment. We're not happy with our leaders, with our parents, our siblings, our neighbors or with the things that we have. Our house is too small, our TV is an older model, the Wi-Fi is slow or our smartphone isn’t the latest one! The business world is keen to exploit this condition. For example, you may have noticed that most companies making electronic gadgets come up with a new and updated version of their product within months of their latest product? There is immediately an urge to buy it. But the happiness of buying a new device lasts only so long till you see the advertisement of a better product for the same price! The products are advertised in such a way that the consumer feels insignificant without it.

· One reason for this discontentment is that we define our self-worth by the number of things we have. We think that the more we have, the more respect we will get. So when someone else has better clothes, fancier gadgets, stylish houses and high end cars, we feel jealous and bitter. Comparison leads to feelings of superiority in those who have stuff and inferiority in those who want more stuff. Both are dangerous as one leads to pride and other to bitterness. When we compare, we forget to be thankful for all that we already have. We become myopic (i.e., short-sighted) - as we will see only what we do not have.

· Accumulation is also a sign of insecurity. Many accumulate wealth and resources fearing the future. It is in these things they find their strength and security.

• Contentment is a divine virtue that we need to long for. Contentment is a sign of our relationship with God. When we see that our life itself is a gift from God, we will be thankful and content. We will have no room for being grumpy and discontent for the things we don’t have.

Lesson point 2: Learn to be thankful

· Count your blessings. When we find ourselves unhappy with something, or with what we don’t have, we need to take a moment to count all the good things that God has done in our life. And we can be sure that there are many blessings! This attitude puts the focus on what we have rather than what we don’t have. To know how blessed we really are, all we need to do is observe the world around us. Here are some of the disturbing statistics about our country:

o There are about 3.3 crore children who have dropped out of school and are working as child labourers. Thank God that you are in school and well taken care of.

o There are over 17 lakh people who sleep on the streets each night without having a roof over their heads. Thank God that you have a place to call home and sleep at night.

o Over 6 crore people do not have access to clean drinking water each day. Many die because of diseases caused by contaminated water. Thank God that you had water today to quench your thirst.

o There are over 80 crore people worldwide who go each night to sleep hungry of which 20 crores are in India. Thank God that you get to eat healthy and nutritious food each day.

We only need to look at the society around us to realise how fortunate we are. Even a casual visit to the hospital will surprise us about the suffering and pain that is around us.

· When you are discontent with someone.When you find yourself discontent with someone, or trying to change them, stop yourself. Take a deep breath, and remind yourself that you should try to be happy with that person for whom he/she is. Take a moment to think about the good things about that person, the reasons why you love that person. Then accept their faults as part of their entire package.

· Stop, and consider why you want something. When you feel the urge to buy something, think about whether it’s a need or a want. If it’s a want, take a pause. It’s good to wait 30 days. Consider why you want something. Are you not content with what you already have? Why not?

· Learn to enjoy the simple things. Instead of wanting to buy expensive things, and spend money on doing things like eating out or entertainment, learn to enjoy stuff that’s free. Conversations and walks in the park with other people, spending time outdoors, playing board games/sports, and these things don’t cost much but they are awesome.

· Connect with the less fortunate. Connect with the less fortunate and know how it feels. Find a way to serve others.

o Help an old man cross the road

o Visit an orphanage/home for the mentally challenged

o Visit the juvenile detention center

· Have the perspective of the eternal not the temporal. Remember that you can’t take anything with you when you die. Don’t put your hope on temporal things. A lot of people get caught up in climbing the ladder of success only to find that the ladder was leaning against the wrong wall!

Lesson point 3: How to be content

How then can we become people who are thankful, content and satisfied with life? Here are some practical ways in which we can live a life free from discontentment:

• Travel/Look around to see the world in need. Take a trip to the poorer parts of the city that you live in. See real-life situations of people just like you. Stop and look when you see a family who lives on the road and begs on the streets and traffic signals. They are people like you. Read up about the poverty that is there in our country and about the orphans and exploited ones. The next time you complain about the taste of mom’s food or the new phone that you want, let these images that you saw remind you of how blessed you already are.

• Stop comparing. Do not compare with people who have more than you but look at people who do not have even basic requirements of life. Comparing will make you miserable and you will soon forget the goodness and privileges you already have.

• Distinguish between the needs and the greed’s. Think about the things that you desire or want. Try to make a list of the absolute needs i.e. the things that you need most urgently to facilitate or complete a task. For example, if you want to work out your mathematics problems, you may need a calculator. In the same list, look out for things that you desire just because your friends have it or because you want to be acceptable and popular in school. Those things are greed’s and not needs. You do not need any of those to survive. For example, to inform your parents about your whereabouts after school, you may need a cell phone but desiring the top end phone because everyone else has it is not a need but a greed.

• Submit your plans to God. Being content does not mean that you need not plan and dream anything. Work hard towards your goals. But at the same time when things don’t go the way you planned them to, trust God’s plans. Ask God to give you strength to see that God is good and is working out the best plan for your life.

• Volunteer. Share. Give. Contentment comes through giving. When we long to give and not to get, we learn to be content. Volunteer with some group that helps out the community. Share your food, time or things with someone who has lesser than you. The joy of giving will take away the desire to accumulate.

Activity 1: Write down (in the worksheet at the end of the lesson)

Part 1:

· Ten things that are very important to you. They may be material things like stuffed toys, games, dress or a family photograph or non-material things such as values, people, relationships, education.

· Narrow the list to three things that you like the most, which makes you happy. (Cross out the rest)

· Now list one thing that is most important for your happiness. (Cross out the rest)

QUESTIONS TO PONDER

1. What things do you think are important that other people think are important too? How are your values similar? How are they different?

2. What do you value more than others do?

3. What do you value more, material or non- material things and why?

Part 2:

· List ten things that make you unhappy. Make a list of either the material things that you don’t like, or you may list situations that you don’t like.

QUESTIONS TO PONDER

1. Can I change the situation?

2. Can I change the way I react to the situation?

3. What has to change, me or the situation or both?

4. What changes can I make in me to be happier?

‘Life is short and we need to be happy and joyful with whatever God has given us.’