BULLYING

Lesson Point 1: You are not alone…

Do their stories sound very familiar to some of you? What would you do if you saw one of your classmates being bullied?

Bullying in schools has been going on for a very long time. There will always be someone who finds pleasure seeing others in pain and fear. Bullying is a reason behind an increasing number of students who hate going to school. They fear that they will be belittled in front of others.

· So who are these bullies? They are often picturized as a kid bigger in size than the rest of the class. But in this modern age of Facebook, Snapchat and Instagram, bullies come in all shapes and sizes! It can be anyone who finds happiness in someone else’s pain. You can become an instant bully by saying something that you know will cause pain to the other person.

· Bullies often attack those who do not fit in either because of their physical appearance or their social status. Bullying affects a person at a psychological or emotional level. While verbal, social, physical and cyber bullying are frightening, emotional bullying can inflict deep wounds to your soul, mind, will and emotions. We all need a healthy soul to function in life. So, it is very important that we deal with this problem. If you are a bully, a victim of bullying or a witness to bullying, you need to take action right now.

· There are several types of bullying:

○ Verbal - Name calling, teasing, making threats or abusive jokes.

○ Social - Spreading rumours, getting people to gang up on others.

○ Physical - Hitting, punching, posturing, shoving; any physical harm.

○ Cyber - Internet harassment including sending offensive messages and posting nasty things online

○ Emotional - Mind games, using actions or body language to intimidate, spying.

· Let’s look at few lives of a few well-known personalities

1) BILL CLINTON

o Was bullied for being fat and wearing unfashionable jeans.

o As a result of being bullied, he got punched on his jaws.

o Struggled with self-image and body weight.

o He studied law.

o He became the 42nd president of the United States of America.

2) TIGER WOODS

o He had a problem of stuttering because of which his classmates teased and bullied him.

o On his first day of kindergarten, he was tied to a tree and taunted with racial slurs by older schoolboys.

o Youngest Masters Champ and the first golfer.

o He is one of the most accomplished amateur golfers in history.

But they all overcame their past hurts and became great inspirational people. They proved that they are not weak and that they too can become people of courage. Perhaps they trusted in God and so God made them into people of worth.

Lesson Point 2: Why do bullies bully?

Vivek lived in constant fear of Prateek — every day Vivek would give his lunch money to Prateek, but he still beat him up. He said that if Vivek ever told anyone about it then he would beat him up in front of all the other kids in his class. Vivek even cried one day and another girl told everyone that he was a baby and had been crying. Vivek was embarrassed and felt so bad about himself and about school. Finally, Prateek got caught threatening Vivek and they were both sent to the school counsellor. Prateek got in a lot of trouble at home. It was learnt that Prateek’s father was a very strict man, and so Prateek to overcome his fear, he would threaten Vivek who was little weaker than him. Over time, Prateek learned how to make friends and ask his parents for lunch money. Vivek, though he didn’t become friends with Prateek, learnt to act strong and more confident around him.

Bullies bully because:

a. They come from families where they always shout and yell at each other. They feel that’s the normal way to act.

b. Perhaps they want to get noticed, and so attention seeking behaviour can lead to bullying.

c. They like having power over their peers. They want to feel superior.

d. Think it's cool and funny. They feel bullying can make them the hero of the school.

e. Aggressive personality, i.e., they might be aggressive and violent by nature.

f. Lack of adult supervision.

g. Jealousy

h. Revenge

i. Take their feelings out on others. They might feel better if they take their negative feelings out on others.

j. Some bullies are actual cowards from within, but just to cover it up they bully others.

Bullying never has to do with you. It's the bully who's insecure.

Activity: Create a slogan

Students are given the task of designing a new anti-bullying poster. The catch? They are not allowed to use more than 100 characters on their poster, so they need to choose their words wisely. This can be done as group task with 3-5 students in each group. A maximum time of 5 minutes can be given for the task. Examples:

• It isn’t big to make others feels small

• Be kind to unkind people. They need it the most!

• Be a buddy, not a bully!

Lesson Point 3: How to deal with the Bullies?

i. Know the mind of a bully. Most of the bullies do their act of bullying because of their need for acceptance, attention and accolades. They are likely to come from a home where they do not receive much attention and appreciation. In order to gain this missing appreciation, they resort to instilling fear in others.

ii. If you are the one being bullied, evaluate your relationship with the bully. Was it something that you said or did that made him/her react that way? Can something be done to make the relationship better? Take the initiative to reconcile if that is possible.

iii. Choose to ignore and walk away as much as possible. Most bullies thrive when you react and respond to their taunts. When they see that it does not bother you in spite of all that they do or say, the bullying will stop. Ignore the bully and walk away. Use these opportunities to grow and strengthen your character. This will also help you to develop the quality of being calm and composed in difficult situations.

iv. Kill bullying with kindness! It is not easy. Look for opportunities for kindness towards the bullies. It will surely take them by surprise!

v. Cyber bullying must be dealt in a very different way. With the rise of social media, chances of online defaming and trolling are on the rise. Be very careful with whatever you post online because once your information or pictures are online, it can be anyone's property. The Cyber laws in India are slowly becoming stricter and so if you are a victim of online bullying, you must take help of a senior and take it to the authorities if necessary.

vi. Bullying can be dealt with only if we all stand together. If you are being bullied, evaluate the threat and take it to a senior if the bully must be confronted. If you see others being bullied, offer help to defend them. Talk to your parents and teachers and address the issue immediately. Only together we can fight this battle till no student fears coming to school.

vii. Stand up for yourself. Pretend to be brave and confident if you are not in real. But don’t retaliate or take revenge.

viii. Tell an elder about it like your school counsellor or, your class teacher or Principal. Or go home and tell your parents.

ix. Be very bold and don’t take any of the negative remarks of the bully into your heart.

x. Ask God to give you the strength to forgive the bully.